A Blue Shoulder To Cry On
by Thellana
Summary: Set just after the cutscene that sees Saren's cloning facility blown up. Sophie Shepard deals with the loss of Kaidan.


**A/N: I realised that I didn't have a fanfic that covered Sophie's reactions to Virmire, so I've put this piece together. This can be read after "A Shoulder to Cry On" in terms of timeline. Hope you enjoy and leave feedback!**

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A Blue Shoulder To Cry On

Chapter 1- Hurt and Comfort

As the Normandy breaks Virmire's orbit Commander Sophie Shepard can't turn away from the viewport on the bridge. She doesn't blink as the mushroom cloud appears and engulfs a large area on the planet's surface. It's more than enough to destroy Saren's cloning facility and certainly more than enough to claim the life of Kaidan Alenko. Sophie had been put in a difficult position on the planet's surface. She'd chosen to save the life of Ashley Williams because it was her that was with the bomb. It wasn't a decision she made lightly, but the commander needed to make sure that it went off.

She leaves the bridge in wordless mourning. Joker doesn't say anything. Right now all Sophie wants is to be alone, and as she heads through the CIC and down the stairs into the mess hall she ignores the looks and whispers of the crew. She mindlessly drags herself into her cabin and falls onto the bed in the back of the room. She'd lost a good soldier today, but most of all she lost a friend. Sophie stares at the ceiling for a moment, then closes her eyes. Big mistake. He's there. Staring her down. His words echoing in her mind. "It's alright commander. I don't regret a thing."

Leaping off the bed she yells "Fuck!" She paces the room's length several times before stopping and sitting on the end of the bed. She leans forward with her face in her hands. "Damn it, Kaidan. I'm sorry." There's a knock on the door and Sophie's heart sinks. She's got a feeling who's on the other side and would want nothing more than Liara's comfort, but she's scared she'll intimidate the asari. Another knock, this one a little more persistent. She caves in and says weakly."Come in."

The door lets off a chime as it opens and in steps Liara T'soni. The archaeologist is wearing her usual attire for when she's on the Normandy, a mainly green piece with white areas on the sleeves and neck. The young asari spots Sophie sat at the end of her bed, approaching carefully. "Sophie?" she tries.

"Liara.. he's gone. Kaidan's gone and its all my fault." Sophie shakes her head against her hands as she speaks. She feels the hand on her knee as Liara kneels in front of her. "Don't, Liara.. I killed him. It was all my fault." She jumps the gun and she wishes she could take it back. Liara however appears nonplussed by Sophie's words and she keeps her hand on the human's knee.

"Do not do this, Sophie. It was not your fault, it was Saren's. Just like it was Saren's fault when my mother died. You did what you thought was right when you ordered us back to Ashley." Liara's hand gently rubs small circles on Sophie's knee. "I am here for you, Sophie. Just as you were there for me."

Sophie finally emerges from her hands, she looks down to Liara with a saddened expression. "I can't believe he's gone." she slides off the bed and sits with her back against the frame. She flinches slightly as a blue hand touches her back. The next thing she knows her head is resting against Liara's shoulder. "He was in love with me, Liara. He tried to find out if I shared his feelings and I didn't see it at first, but when I told him that I was in love with you he just accepted it. He helped me the day your mother died. I stood in the lift like a fool. He convinced me to tell you how I felt."

"That's because Kaidan was a good person, Sophie. I didn't know him well but we helped each other with biotic techniques. He showed no ill will toward me when word got out about my attraction to you." says Liara as she strokes the Spectre's back. "I will miss him too. But like my mother we will remember Kaidan for who he was." Liara continues to hold Sophie and they sit in companionable silence.

She's unsure of how much time has passed, but Sophie manages " Thanks Liara.." the Spectre looks to the asari with a small smile. "I feel better." She rubs the back of her neck nervously and adds. "Would you stay with me a little longer?"

"As long as you need, Sophie." replies Liara, gently coaxing the human's head back against her shoulder and continuing to rub her back softly.


End file.
